HOKEY COKEY

I'm expecting the fuzz to come knocking on my door at any minute. This is for crimes I committed many years ago when I was barely a teenager. You see the local methodist chapel (Patmos Chapel) sometimes had social evenings. Often the night would come to an end with dancing the Hokey Cokey. Now I learn this is an anti-Papist hate activity. We certainly weren't made aware of that at the time although perhaps the insider elite knew what they were doing. My grandmother actually had a thing about "church people" (she meant Church of England) so perhaps she was in on the secret too. As Alan Cochrane has pointed out in his comment on the matter many thousands of people have enjoyed the fun knowing nothing about the alleged origins of the song. Now everyone does know perhaps some people will use it as an instrument of hate. At the next Old Firm match I wouldn't be surprised if it was sung with extra vigour. In case anyone missed the story the name Hokey Cokey is alleged to come from "hocus pocus" which in turn is a skit on the words of consecration "hoc est enim corpus".

Was a little amazed yesterday to see that we in UK are being advised to wrap our Christmas presents in cloth rather than wrapping paper. It seems a lot of gift wrapping paper can't be recycled and if people stick in the paper recycling bins the whole lot counts as being contaminated and off it goes to landfill. Well I think it probably is helpful to know that — it's certainly not made clear at the recycling receptacles in our local Tesco. I assumed the press got hold of this story from some guy in a government ministry with not much else to do. But no!! The message comes from an agency (quango) set up by the government. It's called "Waste and Resources Action Programme" — acronym "WRAP". Last year it cost the taxpayer around £80 million. Think about it. UK is almost on its knees, a total breakdown (well it's getting that way) of law and order, and the hard-pressed taxpayer is expected to trump up £80 million to pay a bunch of quangocrats to tell us how to wrap our prezzies. These are the sort of people the country can do without.

CHRISTMAS CHEER

Young children of Arthur Bugler School (Stanford-le-Hope, Essex) spent a long time rehearsing for an appearance in the Corringham Winter Festival. Then they had to pull out because their Christmas carols did not, in the view of the event's organizer, "dovetail" with the festival's theme. Carols are too religious.

At Southwold in Suffolk people have been dashing into the sea on Christmas Day often in fancy dress. Last year £8000 was raised for charity. This year nothing because the Health and Safety wallahs have decided it's too dangerous. The heavy costumes might pull people into the icy depths where giant squid are lying in wait to devour them. Of course it's very cold and these are adults so I would imagine they're not going to swim far out to sea or hang around too long. And of course they're having fun and helping others. Gordon Brown and his Presbyterian friends can't have that.

And Stephen Coulter has ordered his Dorset congregation not to sing the well-known carol "Little Town of Bethlehem" because the iamge it evokes is different from the political situation of present-day Bethlehem. I have some sympathy for this but can't help feeling it's a little over the top. Some of these well-known hymns and carols are an important part of what binds people to the Church.

JEWELLERY IN SCHOOLS

Recent press reports say that Kioni Lansbury, a 12-year-old girl, has been ordered by her school not to wear a "purity" ring — which she says she wears because she favours sexual abstinence. The school in question is The King's School at Ottery St Mary in Devon.
Well sexual abstinence is not a bad thing for a 12-year-old to believe in. And I see no reason why schools should not forbid pupils to wear jewellery. After all when I was a pupil over 50 years ago I was expected to wear a funny cap on the journey to and from school — to be doffed if I met a teacher. And as recently as the mid-1990s I worked in a school that had problems with girls' uniforms. The sixth-form girls were allowed to wear any appropriate dress in lieu of the school uniform that younger pupils were expected to wear. Needless to say some pushed the boundaries and wore things totally ridiculous in a school/work context such as miniscule skirts or pretty dresses more suitable for a night-club. As the appropriate/inappropriate boundary is rather indistinct and hard to enforce it was pointed out that it would simpler to go back to an "everyone wears uniform" rule. In the same way a rule forbidding jewellery altogether stops those who might decide to wear tiaras or earings dangling 5 inches below their ears.
But what annoyed me about this school was the reason they gave. The head teacher is quoted as saying "Kioni cannot wear the ring because it would be extremely dangerous in PE, technology, or science lessons" (usually this argument is also applied to cookery classes). Really? If schools are such a dangerous environment perhaps all pupils should be forced to wear hard hats and yellow jackets. This is the Health and Safety Brigade at work again. I have some knowledge of school science teaching and I know that many female science teachers do not remove their rings or other jewellery on entering the laboratory. And after a spell of supply teaching I can say the same of cookery teachers. The fact is that this school does not want female pupils to wear jewellery and are seeking to justify that attitude with a totally spurious reason. I'm surprised they haven't found a reason connected to global warming which is another phenomenom used to justify all sorts of things.

GANNET ORPHAN

Have just watched the local news on BBC Scotland which devoted several minutes to the fate of a gannet marooned on Bass Rock after its parents flew off to warmer climes. I asked my wife how they knew the bird needed rescuing and was told that if I'd listened properly I'd have known that they'd been watching its every move because it was tagged. I'm surprised whoever looks after the fish hasn't been given prime air time to complain that one of their main tormentors has been saved. I expect that in recent weeks a good number of birds have died within a hundred yards of my garden. How are they being remembered? Why was nothing done to save them? I suppose if a millionaire heiress leaves all her estate to the RSPB specifically for the benefit of Bass Rock gannets that's her privilege but even so why do those BBC morons think it merits so much airtime?

HOUSE OF COMMONS

Have just watched Michael Martin's statement today on the police intrusion into an MP's office in the Palace of Westminster. It is totally clear that he and the Serjeant-at-Arms connived in this intrusion. He says he wasn't told they needed, but didn't have a warrant. For God's sake if the principal officer of this country's prime legislative body knows nothing about police powers then who does. This wretched Scot, who should have been impeached many moons ago, is but a puppet of the Metropolitan Police who in turn are puppets of the Labour Government under our Dear Leader ( a term more appropriate to North Korea) Gordon Brown. Some reports suggested that about 9 anti-terrorist officers were involved in Damian Green's arrest and search of his office and home. Well I'm sure the wimps would rather do that than tackle real terrorists.