RUSSELL BRAND

For reasons which I am unable to fathom Russell Brand seems to be a successful "star" and his mate Jonathan Ross is one of the BBC's most highly paid performers. This puerile couple recently put what they considered funny messages on the answering machine of Andrew Sachs who used to appear as Manuel in Fawlty Towers. The level of the one-sided exchange can be judged by the fact that Russell bragged that he had shagged Mr Sachs's grandaughter who is in her early twenties. As I don't follow the gossip columns I don't know whether he's telling the truth or not but a report today suggests that he quite often boasts on air about his sexual conquests. Under pressure the pair made an apology of sorts though it was almost an insult in its own right. But what is truly amazing is that the programme was recorded and the BBC chose to broadcast it. Are we really paying our licence fee to an organisation which thinks this sort of "prank" is OK? I'm sick of being told that the purpose of the TV licence is to ensure that the BBC can produce high quality programming. Clearly it doesn't. What sort of staff do they employ? The sooner the BBC staff get their P45s the better.

In the same vein, but not just a BBC issue, is the whole subject of foul language on television. Jamie Oliver and Gordon Ramsay both host shows in which foul language is the order of the day. Lots of ordinary people do not like it. Complaints are coming not from geriatric prudes or virginal nuns but from normal people. Men and women who may well swear themselves at times but don't want the stuff tumbling out of their telly into their front room. Especially if they have children.

BBC SCHEDULING

So today, at least from late afternoon, all the BBC TV schedules are all to cock. If you went to to your local cinema to watch the advertised "Superman" film and then as the curtains opened you found they had decided to screen "Sound of Music" instead you could well be extremely annoyed. You might want your money back. If the cinema was in fact a complex of small screens and they announced that they'd switched "Superman" to the place next door you might still be upset. If the cinema kept on doing this sort of thing people would go to a more reliable cinema and managers at the first cinema would be sacked or it would go out of business. BBC schedulers are very incompetent but of course that doesn't matter because although nothing tonight was screened at the time advertised on the channel advertised this is not a commercial organisation. The company get their cash and the managers their salaries (+ bonuses) even if nobody gets to watch what they want to watch. English Heritage are trying to make sure BBC Television Centre gets preserved for the nation. We need to ensure this wretched organisation (BBC I mean, but much the same applies to English Heritage) comes to a quick end along with all its managers.

BBC NON-NEWS

Not long ago watched the BBC 6.00 pm news. About 10 minutes in we had a lengthy report on the National Health Service (NHS)and were told that as it's 60 years since the 'birth' there will be a report every day for a week. Of course this is just an excuse for the BBC to roll out old footage and every minute spent on this documentary material is one minute less of hard news. Presumably all the people at the BBC have GCSEs in media studies or even degrees in media studies so it is a little amazing that they are unaware of the difference between news and documentary. Except perhaps it's not surprising as any fool can pass media studies at whatever level.

BBC & ENGLISH HERITAGE

The BBC are hoping to sell their Television Centre which was built around 1960. After all they don't make many programs now as much of their output is dreary old repeats. But there's a fly in the ointment in the shape of our old friends English Heritage. EH want to have the building listed which may well make it more difficult to sell and if anyone does go ahead and buy there could well be restrictions on what they can do with it. A new doormat will probably need planning permission in triplicate. The main purpose of EH is to make life difficult for normal people at the expense of normal people.