HOKEY COKEY

I'm expecting the fuzz to come knocking on my door at any minute. This is for crimes I committed many years ago when I was barely a teenager. You see the local methodist chapel (Patmos Chapel) sometimes had social evenings. Often the night would come to an end with dancing the Hokey Cokey. Now I learn this is an anti-Papist hate activity. We certainly weren't made aware of that at the time although perhaps the insider elite knew what they were doing. My grandmother actually had a thing about "church people" (she meant Church of England) so perhaps she was in on the secret too. As Alan Cochrane has pointed out in his comment on the matter many thousands of people have enjoyed the fun knowing nothing about the alleged origins of the song. Now everyone does know perhaps some people will use it as an instrument of hate. At the next Old Firm match I wouldn't be surprised if it was sung with extra vigour. In case anyone missed the story the name Hokey Cokey is alleged to come from "hocus pocus" which in turn is a skit on the words of consecration "hoc est enim corpus".

CHRISTMAS CHEER

Young children of Arthur Bugler School (Stanford-le-Hope, Essex) spent a long time rehearsing for an appearance in the Corringham Winter Festival. Then they had to pull out because their Christmas carols did not, in the view of the event's organizer, "dovetail" with the festival's theme. Carols are too religious.

At Southwold in Suffolk people have been dashing into the sea on Christmas Day often in fancy dress. Last year £8000 was raised for charity. This year nothing because the Health and Safety wallahs have decided it's too dangerous. The heavy costumes might pull people into the icy depths where giant squid are lying in wait to devour them. Of course it's very cold and these are adults so I would imagine they're not going to swim far out to sea or hang around too long. And of course they're having fun and helping others. Gordon Brown and his Presbyterian friends can't have that.

And Stephen Coulter has ordered his Dorset congregation not to sing the well-known carol "Little Town of Bethlehem" because the iamge it evokes is different from the political situation of present-day Bethlehem. I have some sympathy for this but can't help feeling it's a little over the top. Some of these well-known hymns and carols are an important part of what binds people to the Church.